Tell Me I'm A Screwed Up Mess

Well I think for a refreshing change I'm gonna start this blog with some actual valid information about my life! I have just finished my last final for at least 2 years! I won't have to worry about classes or school for about 20 months. That's CRAZY!! I'm a little worried that this free time will now allow me to have more time to worry about my mission, but hopefully I'll stay busy and continue to get more and more excited about serving! The fact that I'm done with school has actually yet to hit me. I keep getting it in small bursts (I'M DONE!) of energy. See there was one right there. They're just little moments where I realize that I'm done with my marathon of a school year. (Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...no that isn't a little ditty to help you remember the seasons that's the semesters I was in school this last year) Maybe I should've put off writing this blog until my brain had fully recovered from what I asked of it this past week, but I'm a Messerly. I press right on through the tired and into the crazy. (That last phrase is an example of why my brain shouldn't be trying to do the words into sentence becoming thing)

At this point I kind of feel like the fish at the end of Finding Nemo...now what? Well I guess I know what, but I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going get from this point right now to the point where I walk into that MTC. How am I going to get ready for that spiritually? How will I get ready to say goodbye to the people I love so much that as I'm writing this sentence I'm tearing up? How will I get ready for the physical changes? How will I get ready to only have two pairs of shoes to choose from? (Always have to end on a funny note, right?) I don't know. We'll see. These next 27 days will answer all of those questions and once I'm in the MTC...more questions will come. That's life. One of my favorite lessons from my Book of Mormon class this semester was that the Book of Mormon is a book with thousands of questions and one answer. The Savior.

Man it got real up in that paragraph. On to things that are more fun (or funner if you're not Brittanye). At the end of the school semester I like to try and discover things that I've learned the past 4 months. Not the things in the curriculum (that would be quite the list) but the things that are a little more applicable to the real world. The extra things this wonderful University has left me with.

• The sexier your teacher is the more likely you are to come to class. Even if class is pointless.
• You will never actually have a chance with said teacher...but it's fun to look at him.
• The university is very clear students shouldn't date their TA's but I've yet to hear a rule about dating teachers. 
• It is possible for a classroom of 100 people to all zone out at the same time.
• Doing this during class: 

• ...doesn't effect the amount you're learning from class at all. 
• Eliminating your Vitamin Water budget (cause Mom buys them now) saves quite a bit of money.
• Going to a class that isn't your own is actually really fun! Mainly because you know you won't be accountable for anything that is said there! (I guess unless it's a religion class, but in that case you're accountable in an entirely different way. Nevermind.(what the crap blogger! Nevermind is so a word! Right?? (also one of my biggest pet peeves is when people forget to close their parenthesis))) (See. I closed every one.
• It is possible to doodle about One Direction for 2 hrs. 
• I will go to a class, knowing that I'm not going to pay any attention, just because it's an excuse to doodle.
• Having a friend in class with you is great! You can study and complain together.
• Having a friend in class with you is awful! Going to lunch together at Zupas always sounds like a better option than going to class.
• Showing up for a final 30 minutes late is the best way to ensure you don't second guess yourself on any questions.
• Only at BYU would the teacher be totally fine knowing that you had to get your test out of the folder that happened to have the answer key laying on top of it because you showed up 30 minutes late and he wasn't in the room.
• Pregnant teachers can disappear at any moment. When they reappear they seem much more tired.
• Being slightly happy that your teacher was hit by a car and has to now undergo physical therapy doesn't appear to give you bad karma. Unless it's time-release karma...or something.
• I've committed sexual harassment at work.
• Ethics at BYU turns into a Sunday School class.
• There are 5 year-olds that can sing better than you. Two of them are my Book of Mormon teacher's children.
• Some people don't read back over their papers. Somewhere English teachers are rolling in their graves.
• I'm actually not that jealous of people who are graduating anymore. I love BYU.
• No college student should have access to a DVR unless they have the self-control of someone who used dial-up internet without having the urge to throw their computer across the room. 
• Having a mission call is by far the best line to pull when you don't want to pursue a relationship with someone. It's even better when you don't have to lie about it. 
• Being passed by 60 year old men while going up the RB stairs isn't anything to be ashamed of. You have lots of heavy books in your backpack!
• I have apparently become that person who always takes over the group project and does way too much. 
• Google Docs allows you to completely change group presentations and papers without having to confront any of your group members about the changes in person. 
• Not every person knows how to speak "sarcasm." Those people are very dangerous. They also leave every conversation with me very confused. 
• I've been awarded "most sarcastic girl I've ever met" by about 8 people this year.
• It's actually quite easy for me to fall asleep while Brittanye is laying on top of me.
• Sometimes the pretty guy is also so, so dumb. 
• Your opinions of people can change. (I'm not talking about the guy above though...seriously I felt like a was talking to a 16 year old.)
• Whenever anyone asks me where we should go to lunch the one and only thing I think is Zupas.
• It's inevitable that once you get to the computer lab, sit down, and have your headphones in you'll realize you have to go to the bathroom.
• I love that my family lives in Springville!! Living at home while still being able to hang out with my wonderful friends has made this semester extra awesome and the perfect preparation for my mission!

Yeah, yeah I know. This blog wasn't that spazy or funny. But it was a little spazy and funny right?? Right?? I need validation people! But if I've learned anything from my favorite blogger EVER it's that between hilarious blog posts you can get real sometimes. That blogger is Eli...I don't actually know him but his blog is HILARIOUS! Seriously if you think I'm even kind of funny read his blog and you'll realize I have a long way to go before I can emulate my hero. His blog is itjustgetsstranger.blogspot.com. Mom and Dad...not sure you'd be able to handle his humor because it's even more spaztic than mine :)

Blessings

So say hello to falsetto in 3...2...

*WARNING* Don't scroll too quickly through this post because it will ruin part of the fun. Just take it a few lines at a time.

Hello my babies. Before I begin I would just like to ask if you sometimes find yourself thinking, "Wow, Emilye has way too many blogs. I don't know if I can handle reading that craziness so often!" If you do, first of all...I want a name. No one should feel that way about my blog! But...we all have imperfections so if that thought ever does come up just remember that I'm trying to fill all of your canteens with enough Emilye to last during my 18 month absence. I bet you're feeling REAL bad about being annoyed by my blog now aren't you? Crying yet? As expected. Welp. Onwards and Upwards.

VENTILATION TIME!!
I'm VERY upset with grooveshark right now! (Mom. Dad. That's a website that you go to with the goal of listening to music) I have supported grooveshark all of my days! Or at least all of my days in which I was aware that grooveshark existed. It's a fabulous website that has allowed me to virtually eliminate spending money on music from itunes!

Now before you get all "ethical" on me just know that any guilt I felt for listening to music online in most likely a less-than-legal way went out the door when itunes decided it was good enough to raise song prices from .99 to 1.29! That was the day the music (at least from itunes) died.

TANGENT WHILE VENTING!

Itunes doubly pissed me off when they started advertising "Watch your clocks! Nov 16th at 12:01 am the world of music will never be the same!!!! Something will happen that day that will make you question whether the world you were previously living in was really worth living in!!!!!! World peace can take a back seat to the goal we've just accomplished!!!!!!!! APOCALYPSE NOW BABY!!"  (I swear that's verbatim what it said. Plus or minus a few exclamation points.) Now let me just further explain that this happened the semester I was living with Mel and Kip, so I had very little in my life. Minus your adorable, loving child of course Mellie! So I was very excited to find out what itunes was doing! (I'll admit in the back of my mind I thought free music for all!) When I got up that morning I excitedly went to my high quality laptop only to find the exciting news was... the Beatles albums were now available on itunes. My response: who the heck cares?! My fill of Beatles comes from Across the Universe and only from AtU. I was actually kind of surprised they hadn't already had their music.

Well enough about me. What was I saying? Oh right I was telling you how I've been betrayed by grooveshark. During the whole Spotify fad (which, at least for me, was over before it started) I defended grooveshark to everyone simply because it didn't have annoying women telling you how "piracy is so out" after every few songs. No adds. That was grooveshark's saving grace. What did I find yesterday when I signed into grooveshark? Something asking me for $4 to avoid any adds for a month! Who do you think you are grooveshark? Itunes? I, of course, selected the free option that had one initial ad and then no ads until 4 hours of listening. Now I haven't hit 4 hrs of continuous listening yet (mainly because when I'm told I have a limited allotment of something I ration it like I'm trapped in the middle of a desert and it's my last 5 oz of water), but I still have to suffer through the initial first 15 seconds of some commercial thing. (Granted one of their ads was a music video that was actually an awesome song that I now love, but that is besides the point!) Is it too much to ask for unlimited access to all my favorite music for absolutely free?! I'm not an unreasonable person! I'm simply a person who doesn't remember the days when you only had the option of buying an entire album or no album at all. (Always no bunny at all!)

Alright. Venting done. Now on to the purpose of this post. I was chatting the other day with my dear friend Alison Megan Adams Tensmeyer (all four names needed). Well between complimenting my blog by saying things like it's "hilarious, to die for, legendary," (true story) AMAT gave me a fun suggestion. She said that I should start doing some of the segments Ellen does on her show. Well obviously I LOVED that idea so I started to jot (that's a weird word) down some of the segments I remembered and looked up some others I'd never seen. Some of their titles are 'What's Wrong with these photo's?' Photos, Clumbsie Thumbsie, Bad Paid-for Photos, Bad Paid-for Tattoos, Dance Dares, Oh Hair No!, Funny Web Videos, and my personal favorite segment What's on Cee-lo's lap?

Well obviously some of those things will take more time and effort than others so I thought I'd start off small with my own version of "What's on Cee-lo's lap?" First off, here is a clip of what the segment is like on the show: 

Hilarious right? So I decided we would play a slightly different version of that game called, "What has Emilye photo-shopped into random pictures of her family?" And by photo-shop I, of course, mean simply pasted into the photo on paint because I don't have the time or capability to make it actually look good, so why try? But I thought that would've made the title a bit long. Okay now is when you have to be careful not to scroll too rapidly or you will see the next picture before you have time to guess! Which would be the end of the world.

For the first picture we'll start off easy...What has caused Brittanye to scream and freakout?

That would be One Direction!!! (I just couldn't not include them in this game)


Next...what is Elise trying to see down Solana's shirt?

A cactus!! Anyone? Did anyone guess cactus?


Now we have...what is Mel looking at in such a judgy way?

A Jack-o-lantern! Which makes sense. It was Thanksgiving time.


What is Brittanye creepily caressing?

Mrs. Potts! If anyone got that one I will give them money. I tried to reach into the most random crevices of my brain for that one.

I think we have time for one more...what is Elijah about to snog? (For people who don't speak British that means kiss)

A kangaroo! Which can be dangerous.
 
Well there you have it! I hope you enjoyed that game and hopefully there will be more to come. I'm currently working on collecting some good "Clumbsie Thumbsie" material...so get excited! (On an unrelated note if you guys have any funny texts that involve your phone auto-correcting something you were typing into something completely different feel free to share them with me)  I'm always amazed by the amount of things I can find to say when I start my blog, thinking it will be short and simple. I guess you could say I have the gift of gab. If you were a 60 yr old women. Until next time...goodnight and goodluck. (I know goodluck is two words, but that would've ruined the symmetry)
Blessings.