The Story of Us: April 2022

April of 2022 will go down as one of the best months for the Jacks! Grandma Messerly came into town on April 5th, Nelson was born on April 11th, Mel visited from April 27-30, and when Mom left on April 30th Grandma Jack arrived later that day! I don't know how I'm going to come to terms with having to do my own dishes and laundry again because let me tell you, life without either of those things is pretty great! I'm willing to undergo a few more major surgeries to get out of doing the dishes for a month. I am currently typing this as Riley is off playing with Grandma Jack. I don't know how I'm gonna sum up this whole month of fun so this post might be a little disjointed, but let's go for it.

I guess I should start by saying April did start off on kind of a sad note, we lost our tenant of one and a half years. Aunt Bo moved out! While I will not miss constantly delivering new boxes of clothes downstairs and not being able to sit on the downstairs couch for said clothes being spread all over it we will definitely miss Aunt Bo's presence! She had been gone fairly often leading up to the move out so it hasn't felt like such a shock, but once all out visitors are gone I think this house is going to feel very empty. We have set goals to make sure we still see each other often, but I will miss our glory days.

The countdown to April 5th felt like it lasted forever! I was in those horrible last weeks of pregnancy and it just felt like if we can survive until Mom gets here we will be good. Riley was so excited to have Grandma in town right from the start. The first thing she did was grab Mom's hands and start spinning her around in a circle. Ah! We had to quickly teach her that Grandma can't play quite like that. Bo tried to stand in for Mom and she only made it about 3 spins! Riley was performing "tricks" for Grandma first thing in the morning most days. She would also do her classic run back and forth across the room while singing most mornings as well. She did have a few questions about why Grandpa wasn't with Grandma and soon decided Grandpa would have to come visit in October, telling him as much on Marco Polo without any prompting from me :).

Oh yeah, at some point during all this Easter happened.

Watching Cousin Elena sing!

We knew that April 11th was going to be a difficult day for Riley since, other than for doctors appts when she'd been watched by Aunt Bo, she'd never been without Mom and Dad at the same time. Definitely never for as long as it was going to be. Grandma came prepared with gifts and activities, but we were sure she'd still have some hard moments. The anxiety of our departure the next day must have been heavy on her mind as she slept because on the last night we were going to have sound sleep for a while we were awoken by Riley at least 3 times. As we headed to the hospital at 6:15 am (we only live about 5 minutes from the hospital, but I had been told if you aren't on time for the 7 am arrival you will get skipped over so I was NOT taking any chances) I prayed that we would be seen that day and not have to deal with postponing all of Riley's anxiety. Luckily, after a little wait in the waiting area (by the looks on their faces they seemed to think being 30 minutes early was a little extreme) someone came and took me back to the room we'd spend the next 36 hrs in. It didn't start out great with the nurse trying to stick me twice unsuccessfully, but I wasn't going to complain. It was all part of the process to get that baby out of me! Finally, she called in the big guns (the triage nurse) and she was able to stick a needle in my wrist. Wasn't the most pleasant feeling, but eventually I stopped noticing it. Then they stuck another needle and a blood pressure cuff around my other arm and I was ready to go. I walked down to the OR just about 2 hrs after we'd arrived.

Now begins the worst part of the whole experience. I had remembered the c-section not being too bad the first time around, but that probably had something to do with the fact that I'd been laboring for so long beforehand. I was already feeling bad because of all the other stuff I was on so the c-section didn't seem to change all that much. Well, it was very different going in feeling totally normal and then being given a big dose of local anesthesia. It didn't help that I had to be hunched over for what felt like forever as the trainee anesthesia person searched around in my back for the proper placement of the needle. At one point she finally got it and then she took off the pressure she'd been holding and lost it again! It was excruciating hearing the person who I knew could do it in a moment trying to teach this other person how to do it! I know all too well that every doctor or nurse has to get hands on experience to learn, but I'd prefer it if I couldn't hear and feel the learning process.

So once the drugs were finally in my system they helped me lay back on the table and immediately I regretted every decision I'd made to get me to this point in my life. I seriously felt like I was going to pass out and die. My heart rate was climbing, I felt super light headed, and I was sure I was going to throw up. The table had looked flat when I had walked in the room, but I was certain I was now laying on one of those inversion tables and all I wanted was for them to tip it back up. Luckily, I had a lot of people in the room constantly checking on me and when I told them how I was feeling they quickly gave me some things to make me feel a lot better. I've really come to appreciate how quickly intravenous drugs take affect. I was still feeling a little out of sorts, but I was trying to take deep breaths and just tell myself that Ben had to be coming soon. Eventually I heard the OBs talking about making the incision and I was immediately panicked that they'd forgotten about Ben! Almost immediately one of the people voiced what I was thinking and said he was on his way. When Ben arrived he asked me if I was okay, saying I looked super pale. I told him there was good reason, but that I was better having him near by. Ben was an important part of the process, holding my hand to help calm me down, holding my barf bag by my face when I did have to vomit on multiple occasions, and eventually holding our sweet baby close to me so I could as least see him while I was getting stitched (and glued) up.

While I'm sure the difficult parts of the surgery will eventually fade from memory I hope I never forget the feeling of hearing that first baby cry. Although, I'd carried him inside me for 9 months, felt his kicks, punches, and hiccups everyday, the fact that we had another child didn't really hit me until I heard that little cry. I just looked at Ben with amazement, we just got a second kid. We didn't have a child now, we had children. I could hardly believe it. Then they lowered the tarp and let us get a look at him, immediately I was struck by how beautiful he was, our sweet little boy. He looked perfect. They took him away for what seemed like forever, but finally Ben got to hold him and bring him over near me. He passed every test they had for him and was deemed a healthy little baby.

Most people don't sign up for a voluntary c-section, but I had my doubts I'd be successful with a trial of labor. I new there were some definite cons to accepting my c-section fate, but one pro was being able to get admitted at 7 am and have our baby by 9:45 am. That way I got to have the same nurse throughout the whole c-section and initial steps towards recovery. We were so glad we got to deliver at Walter Reed and I loved almost everyone that helped along the way. It was fun having his first pediatrician be a doctor Ben works under and admires. We also have a little paper with his foot prints that says he was born at the president's hospital, which is a better claim now that the president isn't Trump :). The best part of our whole stay was that the OB team told us we could go home the NEXT DAY. Everyone else who came into our room was skeptical about that, telling us we didn't have to go, but since there weren't any concerns no one was going to tell us we had to stay. We were just like, hey, this wasn't our idea, but we weren't going to turn it down. Especially since my hospital bed was HORRID. The day after the surgery my biggest pain didn't come from my incision site, but from my shoulder that had been jacked up from how I slept the previous night! For Riley's birth we'd been told we had to stay 48 hrs, and when we left RIGHT at the 48 hrs mark all the nurses were telling us we could stay longer. Now with Nelson it was a little over 24 hrs after that we headed out the door with all the nurses thinking we were crazy. With the next one I'm gonna see if I can get it under 10. ;)

Part of the reason we wanted to go home early was that we knew Riley was missing us. We had facetimed her on Monday after the c-section, and she had met Nelson. He first words after seeing him were, "Is he real?" He did have quite a perfect little face so I can see how she'd think he was a baby doll. The next thing she said was, "Is he going to live here forever? Is he always going to live here?" Sounds about right, after she started thinking about it she's realizing wait is this like a forever change?? Ben went home Monday night so he could at least put Riley to bed, and Grandma wouldn't have to face the tears of a sweet girl missing her parents. When he came back to the hospital he reported that he'd been going back and forth between sobbing and laughing while trying to put her to bed. She was so sad, but kept saying funny things. Like when she asked why I had to stay at the hospital Ben explained something about the doctors needing to check on me and she responded cheerfully, "But you're a doctor!" Then they talked about how she'd need to be brave while we were gone and being brave means being strong even when we are sad. Her response was, "No, I don't think that's really a thing." So we just really wanted to get back home to her, and decided the extra free meals wouldn't be worth her distress. *cough* Ana *cough*. So to pretty much everyone's surprise on Tuesday afternoon we showed up back at home!

The first part of this blog was written back when my memory was fresh. As I sit here a few weeks later those first days postpartum just seem like a blur. Luckily, Riley loves playing with Grandma so I was pretty free to just try and sit around and feed and snuggle baby. My body felt like it recovered pretty quickly, but I kept trying to be extra careful so I wouldn't do something to mess up the healing process.

Things we noticed about Nelson right away was that he actually enjoyed being swaddled! (This would end after a few weeks, but at least we had a few where he wasn't fighting us.) Riley had fought the swaddle from day one, but it actually worked as a calming technique for Nelson. He also seemed overall easier to calm down. Ben will tell you stories of bouncing up and down on the exercise ball with Riley in our walk in closet to try to calm her down and not wake me. Nelson has been very easy to calm down, generally speaking. He did, however, really hate diaper changes for a while.

A few weeks after his birth Auntie Mel came to town to meet Nelson! It was quite the trip for Mel to get here! Her flight was delayed because a veteran died on the flight and they had to divert to Chicago. She only was going to overlap with Britt for a day so we still needed to have our girls night, no matter how late she arrived! You can tell from this picture that we are definitely exhausted!

While she was here for the new baby it was really Riley that got the most out of her visit. She thought Aunt Mel was hilarious and had some pretty classic moments with her. Apparently I'm really falling down on my weeding responsibilities because both Mel and Meredith immediately took on weeding some of the backyard during their visit. When Mel was doing it Riley was also out there with her. When Mel would pick a weed she'd say, "Get out of here weed!" And Riley would just die laughing. I'm pretty sure Riley is actually just Mel's long lost daughter. She loves her so much and she looks like she could totally be Brady and Cal's sibling. (Not sure about Ty.) I wasn't there when this was happening, but Riley came inside to report through fits of laughter, "She said get out of here weeds! Then she said goodbye weeds!"

After Mom left we had Grandma Jack come for a week. She was a superstar! She would take Riley out for an outing and it'd be 3 hours later and they were still out and about! She made Riley's dream come true by taking her to a creek. Ever since we checked out a Bluey book from the library that talked about Bluey going to the creek Riley has been real excited about visiting a creek. The library saw them three days in a row, always coming back with some exciting finds. We also got to enjoy some wonderful meals! Whenever Meredith asks for meal suggestions Ben will always mention Navajo tacos, knowing that they are a lot of effort! Well when Ben asks for something, of course he gets it! Although, Meredith found an easier way to make the tacos so I didn't feel quite as bad that she made them for us.

To end a few random things from the visits:

Riley had brought her Minnie purse to the store one day. As we were checking out she then proceeded to stuff it with gift cards. Who knows what she would've gotten away with without another adult there!

Riley was so happy Grandma was there she loudly proclaimed, "It's so fun with you!" Another time she grabbed Mom's face and said, "You're wonderful!"

While playing at the park Riley wanted to make sure Grandma knew how capable she was saying, "Remember, I can climb up slides!"

We watched church from home for a few weeks due to Grandma and then due to Nelson. One of the weeks there was a musical performance by someone in the ward. He had quite the ending riff and Riley looked up at the computer and said, "He's making funny sounds." Oh boy. Glad we weren't in person that week!

We also had fun whenever Bo was around. We started discussing baby's heads and how Nelson's head came out totally normal shaped, but they are usually kind of pointy from being pushed out the birth canal. Britt started imagining a world where our heads just stayed the shape they were at birth. She decided the c-section babies would end up in charge with the lower class being the babies that were natural birth. As Britt explained, "It would just be a lower class of people with cone heads. You think they aren't being discriminated against??"

One day Britt came over in a real cute lounging outfit. Mom summed it up perfectly when she said, "You look casual, comfortable, and cool!"

Britt didn't hold Nelson much, but we did get her to hold him a bit. One of the times she was trying to decide how she was supposed to hold him and asked, "Isn't back to chest something?"

Mel gifted Nelson this adorable book called I Love You Like No Otter. It's got all sorts of plays on words involving animals in it like, "You are purrrfectly wonderful," or "Let's seal it with a kiss." Well one day I heard Riley reading it to herself like this, "I love you like no otter. I love you like no lion. I love you like no kangaroo." Haha not quite sweetie.

Mel got some workouts in while she was here. One day Riley went looking for her while she was working out. When she saw was she was doing she reportedly said, "My mom used to do that a LONG time ago."

Riley was doing some tricks and turned to Mom and asked her, "How do you jump?" She responded, "Well...I jump better than Nelson."

Mel went downstairs and Riley kept checking on her, calling down the stairs multiple times, "Hey Mel you still good?" and "You doing okay down there Mel?"

Oh this fort. One of those genius parenting ideas that totally backfires. Mom had the great idea to make Riley a fort, but it was the first time for her and she obviously had something different in her mind. Once we showed her what we made she had a total meltdown. I think she was picturing a full on building. She wanted it to be totally stable and much bigger. After a few minutes and I believe some intervention from Ben she found it to be pretty fun.

We got to go to the DC open house together. It's such a beautiful temple!

Mom helped Riley change into one of the vintage outfits Mom brought for her at her last visit. She just looked too CUTE!

We had SO MUCH FUN having our visitors. Riley really struggled for a few weeks after they left. Losing all her fun adult friends and now really feeling my split attention between her and Nelson was hard for her. Luckily, after a few weeks we found our rhythm and there are less meltdowns on the day to day.

Riley and Nelson Meeting!