You will always be my boo

Sometimes I don't understand where these lyrics come from...I just write the first thing that comes.

So, I have a problem, and I'd like to discuss it with yall today. (And no it is not my use of the word yall...I LIKE that word) I'm just a girl who can't say no...but not in the way that chick from Oklahoma is singing about...well sort of...but not at all really. She's awful. I'm really upset you are comparing me to her right now. Stop it.

But honestly, I can't. I've done some soul searching and I've discovered why that is...but before I get there let me just demonstrate the level to which I have this problem.

A few Sundays ago one of the high council members in my parents' ward called me and asked me to speak with him at 1...no big deal my ward is at 11 I can do that. Just 10 minutes later I get a call from a second high council member who asks me if I'd like to speak at 11 with him that same day...okay...well I'm gonna have to miss my ward, find someone to lead the music for me, and write two talks in one week...but...sure.

When I came back from the mission I was SUPER blessed and basically had a job waiting for me at my dad's law firm. The only complication was that I kind of had a job waiting for me at the BYU ticket office as well...I had worked there for three years before my mission and in that office it's just kind of expected that after the mission you start working there again. It's seen as a courtesy...that they are saving you from months of job searching once you get home, which it is, if you don't already have another job. So when I got home from the mish and had emails and messages on our home phone from them wondering if I was coming back how could I say no?! They love me! I like being loved okay?? Get off my back! As the semester has passed I've had less and less time to spare and I really haven't had time to be working two jobs, but the idea of having to quit just terrifies me! I know it's a part of life and people do it all the time...it's even expected at these student jobs...but I just can't do it! Oh and whenever people there talk to me about how great it is to still have me working there I just smile and say, "I know! It's great I love it!" I AM SO FAKE! Why don't I just dye my hair platinum blond, put on 8 inch heels and start tanning? (I am currently scanning my brain for any friends who might read this who fit that description....no I think I'm good) Oh who am I kidding...no tanning bed is going to be able to tan this skin.

My GPA my freshman year is also a pretty good indicator of my weakness. I didn't say no to many things...other than studying and getting up early...that semester.

Dating. I won't go into specifics because I don't want to be mean...but I'd say 95% of the dates I've been on are directly related to this problem. That's a high percentage yall.

Latin/country dancing...a NIGHTMARE for people who don't like turning people down. Trust me.

My last example is a pretty big one...so I have this friend of mine and the other day we were just walking in the park and all of a sudden he knelt down and...he asked me to marry him!!! I said yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm engaged now guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (wow...writing those words physically hurt me) Mark your calendars for June 3rd! Okay...maybe some of that story was fabricated...maybe all of it...but a blog post with lies is ALWAYS more exciting than a blog post without lies. But I mean I'm sure at some point in my life I was walking through a park with a guy friend...and maybe his shoe laces were even untied so he had to kneel down...see?? The lies are disappearing before your eyes. But I lie not when I tell you that this is a legitimate fear of mine. Half of my dislike of the idea of having a boyfriend stems from the fact that I'm afraid that if he proposed to me I wouldn't be able to tell him no. (Notice how in my mind the thought has never even occurred to me that if he proposed I might actually WANT to say yes? Gives you a little insight into my opinion of love. Speaking of love...if you want to loose all faith in love just watch Becoming Jane...every time I watch that movie I end up screaming, "LOVE MEANS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD, ALL WE NEED IS MONEY," repeatedly at the TV until the neighbors complain about our "dog" making noise again.)  Welp aaaaaaaaaaaannyyyyrate #hermanahansen hmm this blog seems to be revealing more of my problems than I had intended it too...did I mention that I'm writing this as I'm watching the remaining time I have to study for my Anatomy test slowly tick by...yep, another problem.

Although I will say that I don't ALWAYS have this problem...in some situations the word, "No" actually comes to my lips pretty quickly...like when I'm woken up in the middle of the night by someone who I will only refer to as "Midget"...you know...to protect her identity...and asked to call some man that I don't know to ask him to send her pictures of her best friend's cheer leading team that he had taken. Yeah...I didn't even have to fully wake up before the word, "No" came out of my mouth.

So now would you like to hear my reasoning as to why I have this problem? If you answered, "No, please make this blog post end while I still have my sanity!" you better just stop reading now cause I'm not listening to you, Erica. Well here it is...I'm too good of a person. That's right...I care TOO much. I know that when people reject me I don't feel good so rather than have anyone else feel that way I just agree to whatever they ask me to do. Yep, I know what yall are thinking...I must rock that question at interviews when they ask me my greatest weakness. I usually like to round it off by quoting Ether 12:27 to them. #BOManswersquestions

Oh! I just put together how I can make those lyrics apply to this post! You will always be my boo....because I will never be able to breakup with you! Anndddd....nailed it.

On a real note I really do want to be able to say, "Yes!" to more service opportunities...so if you (and I realize that when I say 'you' I'm only talking to about 10 people...so yeah this announcement isn't all that amazingly self-less) need someone to help you with something or you are feeling kind of down please call me and I will be GLAD for the opportunity to help. (And if I'm having a bad day or am in a bad mood and happen to forget about this goal just remind me that this is a 'service opportunity' and I will humble up (down?) pretty quickly. Promise)

Well to all my faithful readers out there (hey mom!) I bid you goodnight. Or good afternoon or good morning...depending on what time you're reading this.

PS Before you even go there I am aware that my spelling and grammar only worsened during the mission...so lets just all pretend we don't notice it okay? It will make everyone happier...promise.

Party in the USA...I know. I'm ashamed of myself.

Ahhh the Olympics. A wonderful, wonderful time of the year. Well...every other year I guess. I've always found it ironic that they claim the Olympics "unite" us with the rest of the world. I personally find the opposite to be true. Every other time of the year I am a very loving person. But that love is somewhat forgotten as I mutter slightly derogatory comments about Russians and the Chinese during the Olympics. The fact that someone is not from the USA has never been a reason for me to dislike them...until they are competing against my favorite ice dancers. (TAKE THAT CANADA!) People that I literally had never heard of, or at least didn't remember from four years ago, have become my new heroes. You know what...I feel a highlight reel coming on...

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE OLYMPICS 2014!!!!!!!!!$@@%!!!##^&$$!!

1. Davis and White win GOLD! Now lets just forget about the fact that I saw those five words on a "friend's" status about 5 hrs before I could go home to see it. (Don't worry I've learned from my mistakes...I unfriended him that same day. Just try and ruin 2016 for me. I dare you.) I was still super excited to see them put those cocky Canadian's in there place..I mean who could NOT love these two? With all those videos of them skating together when they were like 10 and talking about how it was scary to look into each others eyes...adorable. Apparently they have over come that hurdle...

Dad. One comment about the twizzels and I swear...

2. USA sweeps podium!! This was one of my favorite heart-warming stories. Joss Christensen's father had just died, and pretty much his last words to him were to keep skiing. He totally made his father proud. Tear.

Owned.

3. He took that fall like a man! Oh man...part of being crazy enough to train to be in the Olympics is being crazy enough to fly 10-1,000,000 feet in the air (depending on the sport, of course) with the chance that you aren't going to stick the landing. I saw some pretty gnarly falls this year...bro. Surprisingly enough one of the hardest falls was from a male figure skater from the U.S. He came down SUPER hard right on his hip bone...but with the cheers from the crowd he got up and finished his program. Slow clap anyone?

4. Ted Ligety. I cannot tell you how relieved I was when he got gold in that one event. (CONFESSION TIME: Every single event that involves skiers going down a hill at a rapid pace seems the exact same to me. I swear they just give them 10 chances to get gold in identical events. It's very kind of them but a little confusing for the viewers at home. Also, if those announcers tell me one more time about the "soft snow" conditions...I get it. It's hard being an Olympian.) But really, I was SO happy that he won (and you know...he had a disadvantage cause he skied last...and you know how soft the snow gets after that many riders have been one it) because seconds before the event they showed a video of him, in which he basically says that his life would be over if he didn't get gold in this run. I was immediately very invested in his cause.

5. Reporters sometimes don't have souls. So picture this. Bode Miller just (finally) metaled in an event. I'm pretty sure he had hurt his knee during the event causing it to be his last run in the Olympics...ever. An Olympics that his little brother was supposed to be at as well, but he died before having the chance. Now put Bode in front of the most heartless-I-just-want-a-good-story reporter and this is the conversation that goes down. (Only SLIGHTLY exaggerated)

So that must have been a pretty emotional run for you how are you feeling?
I feel good about it I didn't make any major mistakes blah blah blah...
How does it feel being here without your brother? You know. Your brother. Who was supposed to be here but died.
Uhh, I'm just trying to make him proud of me...
What would your brother be doing if he were here, which he isn't cause he's dead?
Supporting me...
So I saw you looking up to the skies before the run. Who were you talking to Bode? Was it your brother? Your dead brother? Who's in heaven...you know cause that's where dead people go. And he's dead.

And then she has the nerve to try and rub his shoulder lovingly as he folds over and bursts into tears! I was not happy Bob. Not happy.

6. Mormon Mom gets a silver metal and jumps into the stands. Yeah...it's a cute story. She's cute. I like her. It's even better that in the Church News it had a picture of her going to church in Sochi.

7. I really don't know what this is because I care very little about opening and closing ceremonies...but it HAS to be a highlight.

Things needed at the Olympics: Giant ice skating bear. Check.

8. Curling. 'Nuff said. The fact that that sport continues to come back year after year is a highlight for me on it's own.

9. Russian figure skating pair. Fine...so there were a few people that I liked that weren't from the USA. That usually only happened in the events that our peeps didn't even have a chance. Therefore, I really was happy to see...Russian Name and Female Russian Name win the gold in figure skating. Mainly because by everything the announcers were saying I was afraid of what would happen to them if they DIDN'T win.

10. Bob Costas gets pink eye! Okay...maybe it's a little harsh to have that in the highlights reel, but I really love Matt Lauer! (That love started when I was nannying for Mel and Kip and I had very little in my life. The today show got me through. Oh...and you know...my love of Brady.)

All in all the Olympics were very enjoyable this year...as long as you allow me to remain in denial about Shawn White...he got his third straight gold as far as I'm concerned. And he still has long hair.

My patriotic blanket. Very useful during the Olympics. Very random every other day of the year. 

GO USA!!!

PS In regards to the title of this blog post...the other day while walking through campus (woah...is that facebook group as heard at BYU still around?? It was hilarious) I heard this girl say, "Yeah...but Party in the USA is a classic!" If we are now classifying a Miley Cyrus song as a classic I'm afraid for the future of this world.

PPS Okay what is this sport and HOWHOWHOW did I miss it???

My future? I think so. 

Judging solely from pictures I'm assuming that it's sort of like the hunger games, on skis.

PPPS Did everyone else enjoy those commercials about how if we contact this number or go to this website we could see how WE could become an Olympian?? The fact that I'm willing to sit on my couch for 3 hours every night for 2 weeks should tell you that I'm not Olympian material bud.

Blessings.

Onward, Ever Onward

Emilye leaves for Kentucky tomorrow! Here's her new mailing address and her most recent letter that outlines her time in the MTC.

Hermana Emilye Messerly
Kentucky Louisville Mission
1325 Eastern Parkway
Louisville, KY 40204

9 de julio

Mis Amigos!

I've decided to write you all a little epistle (I'm so biblical. Epistle.) of my time here at the MTC. Life here is a bit strange, but mostly awesome. It's so funny looking at my journal from the first few days. Most of them consist of something like "Wow. It's only the second day. It feels like it's been a week." Now I'm about to leave and it feels like it is too soon. Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic to be leaving the MTC, but I'm going to miss all the study time we have here and all the people in my district. My district is amazing, but none of them are going to Kentucky so I'll probably never see them again. Ever. Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh, but I won't see them at all on my mission.

First I guess I'll just give a run down of the day-to-day goings on here at the MTC and the basic feel of this place. All days you spend your time from 6:30-9:30 either studying, in class, or eating. At least 1 half -hour (sometimes 2) every day is spent teaching an "investigator," which is either your teacher or another missionary. My P-days consisted of temple, laundry, and letter writing. P-day ends at 6:30 and it's back to class. You spend almost all of your time in your classroom (you only see your bedroom from 9:30-10:30), so it's very important to have a district who is focused or everyone gets distracted. It's a place of encouragement, but also a place where you are reminded often how big the work is that you've been called to do. Also, something you should know about the MTC: it ages people. At a remarkably fast pace! It's really weird but every district that had been here longer than us seemed so old and wise. It felt like they'd really experienced life, but the most they could've been out on their mission is 9 weeks! The opposite is also true, every new missionary that comes in seems roughly 12 years old. Some how they seem WAY younger than all the Elders in my district.

Now I thought I'd write about the things in the MTC that I really enjoyed while here. By far the best treat they give us here are the devotionals on Tuesday and the firesides on Sunday. Life in the MTC can be rough some days. Those spiritual devotionals really lift your spirits and renew your desire to do the Lord's work.

I also really liked the food here! Most people complain about the food, but for me as long as the wrap/salad bar was open, I was happy! And any meal that doesn't require me to shop or cook is a great meal.

I'm also really going to miss feeling like a part of a missionary army! It's just such a unique feeling to be completely surrounded by men and women who are committing their lives to the Lord. I know I'll love meeting the people of KY, IL, & IN, but I think it'll be strange to go from being 1 of 2,500 missionaries to just me and my compañion most of the time.


Along with the things I'll miss about the MTC, there were LOTS of things I'm looking forward to in the field. I know it's going to be really hard, but I also know if I get through the hard parts with an increased faith in Christ the good that I see will out-weigh the bad. In a talk by E. Holland that we were able to watch last night (every week we can watch a talk that was given at the MTC in the past few years), he asked the question, "Why is [missionary work] so hard? Why don't we just have people lining up at the font, and the only danger to the work is getting pneumonia cause you just never get dry?" He said he'd been wondering about it for 40 years and the answer he'd come up with was that Salvation isn't a cheap reward. We have to take a quick trip through Gethsemane, maybe a step up the Calvary hill to reap the rewards of salvation. Christ did it for us. I wish you all could've heard it because it was a VERY powerful talk. 


I guess the point of this letter or blog post is just to tell you all that I'm doing well. I'm carrying the message of Christ and his Atonement to others, is there anything better I could be doing? I've had quite a few downs and I'm not even in the field yet (soon though!!!), but every down comes with a higher up. As long as I stay focused on the Savior and learn how to stop thinking of myself and how I'm feeling, I'll be a successful missionary. I know that. The Lord is helping me. He's making me stronger. I love you all!


P.S. I promise if you write me, my letters aren't just me bearing testimony the WHOLE time.

You've Got that One Thing

Solana (Emilye's sister) here. In keeping with Em's tradition, I made the blog title a song lyric. Contrary to Em's tradition, the blog title can actually make logical sense and relate to this post! Cuz what's that one thing you've got? Em's MTC mailing address!!!!

Sister Emilye Messerly
MTC Mailbox 251
KY-LOU 0716
Provo MTC
2005 N 900 E
Provo, Utah 84604

We are young! We are strong! And we're running with blood on our knees!

Well first off...blogger got a facelift! If you have a blog you know what I'm talking about. Man, blogger used to be so down to earth, but now it's teamed up with Google+ and is becoming all vain! Don't need Google-make-up to cover up, being the way that you were was enough.

ANYways...now that I'm done trying to improve my blogs self-esteem onto the fun part of the post! As probably all of you know, last weekend my wonderful sister Melanye was in town. Now to truly understand the events that occurred last Saturday we're gonna have to go back...WAY back...back into time. Melanye has always had this indescribable power over all of her sisters (and some brothers.) She had the power to convince me her giant, 80's inspired boom-box was a fair trade for my sleek, new cd player. She convinced me that the 20 bucks I found in our house (that no one claimed...I'm not a bad person) partially belonged to her and she deserved half of it. She swindled me out of my heated blanket. Even this week, she somehow left our house with at least two of my shirts, a pair of pants, and my ipod.

She never ceases to amaze me.

So now that you understand the power that is Melanye Thompson you will understand how a person like me (who, while I love exercise, would NEVER choose to spend that exercise time running) ended up running a 10k on Saturday. Mel planned to come to Utah for my farewell talk, and she decided it would be fun if we tried to do a "Messerly Might" 10k on the Saturday before my talk. We aren't exactly a family of runners, Mom likes running and Ana and I enjoy a good sweat, but other than that Mel's the only one in the family that would actually WANT to run 6.2 miles. But somehow in the emails she sent about The Event (as I am now affectionately calling the 10k) made running sound fun! She even baited us with t-shirts (which actually never happened) to make the whole thing sound festive! Now I will admit, I was supportive of the idea at first...I thought I could work my way up to running 6 miles and I'd feel so accomplished! So I helped support Mel even when most of the family told her there was no chance in (insert whichever word offends you least) they were doing it. As the run came closer, however, school was busier so my carefully planned running schedule feel apart; leaving me very nervous for judgement day.

Well the day of The Event came and standing on the driveway, ready to run at 8 am were Mel, Ana, Mom, and I. Well "ready" is kind of a strong word...maybe willing is more accurate. Or coerced. No I think the word I'm looking for is forced. Forced to run. So we grabbed our shades, took our pictures, and drove our car to the planned starting point. We ran as a group for about 5 seconds and then we were divided into the EMEL and MANA teams. (our names don't make great celebrity couple names) Now begins the fun part.

Want to know what I learned about myself during this run? I'm what you would call a bipolar runner. Here are just a few things going through my mind at different points in the run. I've lost the ability to differentiate between the things I actually said out loud and the things I tried to keep in to spare Mel's feelings. It was just such a confusing time.

0-1 mi- Spent the first half of this mile telling Mel about all my insecurities about going on a mission and basically coming up with as much juicy gossip we could. Running at about a 10 minute pace. Feeling good. Encouraged even more as Mel continually tells me the first mile is the hardest.

1-2.1 mi- Mel lies. The first mile is not the hardest. The hardest mile is the one that has a hill. I did not agree to hills. Melanye commenting on how big the houses around us are doesn't motivate me to run at all. Your sarcastic comment about running down the hill being easier doesn't help either, old man. I'm done. I thought I'd get farther than this, but I think I'm just going to walk the rest of the way. No. Push yourself! Catch back up to Mel! Yes! There you go...nope, nope slowing down again. Mel don't wait for me. Please just run ahead and leave me behind. Why won't you just give up on me?!

2.1-3.2 mi- The fact that we get to run on a slight downhill slope doesn't comfort me at all Mel. It's still running. Stop trying to make it sound like this is just gonna be a piece of cake from now on. Why do I let you in my life? I don't want to run anymore. But you've run farther than this before! Push yourself! Oh, we came to a fork in the road. Yes! Keep pretending you think we're supposed to run the other way. You'll at least get to breath for a few seconds. Crap. She figured it out. We're running again. Maybe if I just push her in front of that car that's passing...no. No. That would be wrong.

3.2-4.2 mi- Mel checks her "I tell you how fast you're running and how far you're running all while laughing at your pain" watch about 25 times. Discovered talking about certain topics makes you run faster without realizing it. I think I'll just stop after this mile. Four miles is good enough and that's where we left the car so really it would work out well. But I can't stop! If I stop this whole "running" thing will be a waste. And I'd leave Mel to run all alone with no one to talk to AND no ipod to listen to. That's gotta be worse than death and taxes.

4.2-4.9 mi-Mel why are you talking to that other runner? I thought we were just gonna run past her and pretend we didn't see her. Oh great. Now she's telling her how I'm going to run 6.2 miles. Well I can't quit now! Little Miss. I'm-running-10-miles-and-have-this-cool-water-bottle-holder-around-my-waist will think I'm weak if I stop now. Alright Mel, your voice is no longer enough motivation to keep me running. If I'm gonna make it all the way it's time to break out some Bieber. I'll just put in one headphone so Mel won't think I'm totally ignoring her. If I was your boyfriend...

4.90001-4.90002 mi- Woo! Jumping over that cone was fun.

5-6 mi- Yes!! Mile 5! I've never run this far before without taking a break to walk for a few minutes! I'm a rock-star!! I can do this! I can do this!! They're gonna make a movie about my triumph! It's totes gonna make everyone cry. I say totes now. It'll be the inspirational movie of the year. I think my love interest should be Josh Hutcherson. Not sure when during this run I developed a love interest, but he'll be played by Josh. He'd be waiting at the finish line to sweep me into his arms. I'd play myself of course. He wouldn't even look disgusted by my red, sweaty face. I can't believe I'm doing thi...I'm done. 5 miles is good enough. I can only focus on my stupid breathing and stupid form for so long Mel!! If you make me count my steps one more time I will trip you while you're running at your stupid 9:30 pace. I hope the people living around here don't mind hearing me and Mel yell out random parts of the songs I'm listening to. I've officially experienced Mel's most flimsy attempt to distract me while running. "Oh a 'Sold' sign! Try to think of songs that have the word sold in it. What about hall? How many songs can you think of with the word hall in it?" I think I mumbled something incoherent about Cathedrals. I'm done. I give up. I made it far enough. No! Don't let Mel get there before you! Sprint this last part! YES!!!! You freakin did it! You made it! Woo...that last sprint about killed you but you did it!

The most painful words I've ever heard in my life: "Alright now we just have to run back a little bit to get the last .2 miles to finish the 10k!"

6-6.2 mi- Shut up. No. I just pushed myself that hard because I thought the end was in sight! Do you even love me anymore Mel? You really should've told me you were a sadist and a masochist before I started running with you. Okay I CAN do this...you're stronger than you think you are...you're stronger than you think you are. Alright Mika, you're gonna have to get me through this. This song pumps me up like no other...it's the only way I'm pulling through. Come on faster...faster...catch up to Mel! Or at least get closer to Mel. That will suffice. NOW where is she going?? Is this just some game? We've actually been running for 10 miles and she just wants to see how far I will follow her around like a puppy? Man, I have to keep running now because Mom and Ana are watching! Wait. She's stopping. That means I can stop. Halle-freakin-lujah!

I'm still impressed by Mel's motivational skills and by the fact that after we finished this while I was sure I was close to death she continued to run 2 more miles. She's Wonder Woman. (Who comes from a group of women called the Amazons. Just ask Britty.) I think my favorite moment of the day happened after the run. Once we got home I was walking around and said, "You know, I don't really feel like I'm even that sweaty." To which everyone in the room enthusiastically replied, "No, no you sweat a lot...trust me you sweat plenty!" Also, just for your information...while you may have the motivation to go to a Pump (weight-lifting mixed with cardio) class after running The Event you're body may not want you to. Charlie horses hurt kids. All in all it was a fabulous Saturday spent with my older sister, and gave me a great excuse to blog. I miss you already Mel! In fact I missed you the second you left! Love you!

Before

After

Blessings

Tell Me I'm A Screwed Up Mess

Well I think for a refreshing change I'm gonna start this blog with some actual valid information about my life! I have just finished my last final for at least 2 years! I won't have to worry about classes or school for about 20 months. That's CRAZY!! I'm a little worried that this free time will now allow me to have more time to worry about my mission, but hopefully I'll stay busy and continue to get more and more excited about serving! The fact that I'm done with school has actually yet to hit me. I keep getting it in small bursts (I'M DONE!) of energy. See there was one right there. They're just little moments where I realize that I'm done with my marathon of a school year. (Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...no that isn't a little ditty to help you remember the seasons that's the semesters I was in school this last year) Maybe I should've put off writing this blog until my brain had fully recovered from what I asked of it this past week, but I'm a Messerly. I press right on through the tired and into the crazy. (That last phrase is an example of why my brain shouldn't be trying to do the words into sentence becoming thing)

At this point I kind of feel like the fish at the end of Finding Nemo...now what? Well I guess I know what, but I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going get from this point right now to the point where I walk into that MTC. How am I going to get ready for that spiritually? How will I get ready to say goodbye to the people I love so much that as I'm writing this sentence I'm tearing up? How will I get ready for the physical changes? How will I get ready to only have two pairs of shoes to choose from? (Always have to end on a funny note, right?) I don't know. We'll see. These next 27 days will answer all of those questions and once I'm in the MTC...more questions will come. That's life. One of my favorite lessons from my Book of Mormon class this semester was that the Book of Mormon is a book with thousands of questions and one answer. The Savior.

Man it got real up in that paragraph. On to things that are more fun (or funner if you're not Brittanye). At the end of the school semester I like to try and discover things that I've learned the past 4 months. Not the things in the curriculum (that would be quite the list) but the things that are a little more applicable to the real world. The extra things this wonderful University has left me with.

• The sexier your teacher is the more likely you are to come to class. Even if class is pointless.
• You will never actually have a chance with said teacher...but it's fun to look at him.
• The university is very clear students shouldn't date their TA's but I've yet to hear a rule about dating teachers. 
• It is possible for a classroom of 100 people to all zone out at the same time.
• Doing this during class: 

• ...doesn't effect the amount you're learning from class at all. 
• Eliminating your Vitamin Water budget (cause Mom buys them now) saves quite a bit of money.
• Going to a class that isn't your own is actually really fun! Mainly because you know you won't be accountable for anything that is said there! (I guess unless it's a religion class, but in that case you're accountable in an entirely different way. Nevermind.(what the crap blogger! Nevermind is so a word! Right?? (also one of my biggest pet peeves is when people forget to close their parenthesis))) (See. I closed every one.
• It is possible to doodle about One Direction for 2 hrs. 
• I will go to a class, knowing that I'm not going to pay any attention, just because it's an excuse to doodle.
• Having a friend in class with you is great! You can study and complain together.
• Having a friend in class with you is awful! Going to lunch together at Zupas always sounds like a better option than going to class.
• Showing up for a final 30 minutes late is the best way to ensure you don't second guess yourself on any questions.
• Only at BYU would the teacher be totally fine knowing that you had to get your test out of the folder that happened to have the answer key laying on top of it because you showed up 30 minutes late and he wasn't in the room.
• Pregnant teachers can disappear at any moment. When they reappear they seem much more tired.
• Being slightly happy that your teacher was hit by a car and has to now undergo physical therapy doesn't appear to give you bad karma. Unless it's time-release karma...or something.
• I've committed sexual harassment at work.
• Ethics at BYU turns into a Sunday School class.
• There are 5 year-olds that can sing better than you. Two of them are my Book of Mormon teacher's children.
• Some people don't read back over their papers. Somewhere English teachers are rolling in their graves.
• I'm actually not that jealous of people who are graduating anymore. I love BYU.
• No college student should have access to a DVR unless they have the self-control of someone who used dial-up internet without having the urge to throw their computer across the room. 
• Having a mission call is by far the best line to pull when you don't want to pursue a relationship with someone. It's even better when you don't have to lie about it. 
• Being passed by 60 year old men while going up the RB stairs isn't anything to be ashamed of. You have lots of heavy books in your backpack!
• I have apparently become that person who always takes over the group project and does way too much. 
• Google Docs allows you to completely change group presentations and papers without having to confront any of your group members about the changes in person. 
• Not every person knows how to speak "sarcasm." Those people are very dangerous. They also leave every conversation with me very confused. 
• I've been awarded "most sarcastic girl I've ever met" by about 8 people this year.
• It's actually quite easy for me to fall asleep while Brittanye is laying on top of me.
• Sometimes the pretty guy is also so, so dumb. 
• Your opinions of people can change. (I'm not talking about the guy above though...seriously I felt like a was talking to a 16 year old.)
• Whenever anyone asks me where we should go to lunch the one and only thing I think is Zupas.
• It's inevitable that once you get to the computer lab, sit down, and have your headphones in you'll realize you have to go to the bathroom.
• I love that my family lives in Springville!! Living at home while still being able to hang out with my wonderful friends has made this semester extra awesome and the perfect preparation for my mission!

Yeah, yeah I know. This blog wasn't that spazy or funny. But it was a little spazy and funny right?? Right?? I need validation people! But if I've learned anything from my favorite blogger EVER it's that between hilarious blog posts you can get real sometimes. That blogger is Eli...I don't actually know him but his blog is HILARIOUS! Seriously if you think I'm even kind of funny read his blog and you'll realize I have a long way to go before I can emulate my hero. His blog is itjustgetsstranger.blogspot.com. Mom and Dad...not sure you'd be able to handle his humor because it's even more spaztic than mine :)

Blessings

So say hello to falsetto in 3...2...

*WARNING* Don't scroll too quickly through this post because it will ruin part of the fun. Just take it a few lines at a time.

Hello my babies. Before I begin I would just like to ask if you sometimes find yourself thinking, "Wow, Emilye has way too many blogs. I don't know if I can handle reading that craziness so often!" If you do, first of all...I want a name. No one should feel that way about my blog! But...we all have imperfections so if that thought ever does come up just remember that I'm trying to fill all of your canteens with enough Emilye to last during my 18 month absence. I bet you're feeling REAL bad about being annoyed by my blog now aren't you? Crying yet? As expected. Welp. Onwards and Upwards.

VENTILATION TIME!!
I'm VERY upset with grooveshark right now! (Mom. Dad. That's a website that you go to with the goal of listening to music) I have supported grooveshark all of my days! Or at least all of my days in which I was aware that grooveshark existed. It's a fabulous website that has allowed me to virtually eliminate spending money on music from itunes!

Now before you get all "ethical" on me just know that any guilt I felt for listening to music online in most likely a less-than-legal way went out the door when itunes decided it was good enough to raise song prices from .99 to 1.29! That was the day the music (at least from itunes) died.

TANGENT WHILE VENTING!

Itunes doubly pissed me off when they started advertising "Watch your clocks! Nov 16th at 12:01 am the world of music will never be the same!!!! Something will happen that day that will make you question whether the world you were previously living in was really worth living in!!!!!! World peace can take a back seat to the goal we've just accomplished!!!!!!!! APOCALYPSE NOW BABY!!"  (I swear that's verbatim what it said. Plus or minus a few exclamation points.) Now let me just further explain that this happened the semester I was living with Mel and Kip, so I had very little in my life. Minus your adorable, loving child of course Mellie! So I was very excited to find out what itunes was doing! (I'll admit in the back of my mind I thought free music for all!) When I got up that morning I excitedly went to my high quality laptop only to find the exciting news was... the Beatles albums were now available on itunes. My response: who the heck cares?! My fill of Beatles comes from Across the Universe and only from AtU. I was actually kind of surprised they hadn't already had their music.

Well enough about me. What was I saying? Oh right I was telling you how I've been betrayed by grooveshark. During the whole Spotify fad (which, at least for me, was over before it started) I defended grooveshark to everyone simply because it didn't have annoying women telling you how "piracy is so out" after every few songs. No adds. That was grooveshark's saving grace. What did I find yesterday when I signed into grooveshark? Something asking me for $4 to avoid any adds for a month! Who do you think you are grooveshark? Itunes? I, of course, selected the free option that had one initial ad and then no ads until 4 hours of listening. Now I haven't hit 4 hrs of continuous listening yet (mainly because when I'm told I have a limited allotment of something I ration it like I'm trapped in the middle of a desert and it's my last 5 oz of water), but I still have to suffer through the initial first 15 seconds of some commercial thing. (Granted one of their ads was a music video that was actually an awesome song that I now love, but that is besides the point!) Is it too much to ask for unlimited access to all my favorite music for absolutely free?! I'm not an unreasonable person! I'm simply a person who doesn't remember the days when you only had the option of buying an entire album or no album at all. (Always no bunny at all!)

Alright. Venting done. Now on to the purpose of this post. I was chatting the other day with my dear friend Alison Megan Adams Tensmeyer (all four names needed). Well between complimenting my blog by saying things like it's "hilarious, to die for, legendary," (true story) AMAT gave me a fun suggestion. She said that I should start doing some of the segments Ellen does on her show. Well obviously I LOVED that idea so I started to jot (that's a weird word) down some of the segments I remembered and looked up some others I'd never seen. Some of their titles are 'What's Wrong with these photo's?' Photos, Clumbsie Thumbsie, Bad Paid-for Photos, Bad Paid-for Tattoos, Dance Dares, Oh Hair No!, Funny Web Videos, and my personal favorite segment What's on Cee-lo's lap?

Well obviously some of those things will take more time and effort than others so I thought I'd start off small with my own version of "What's on Cee-lo's lap?" First off, here is a clip of what the segment is like on the show: 

Hilarious right? So I decided we would play a slightly different version of that game called, "What has Emilye photo-shopped into random pictures of her family?" And by photo-shop I, of course, mean simply pasted into the photo on paint because I don't have the time or capability to make it actually look good, so why try? But I thought that would've made the title a bit long. Okay now is when you have to be careful not to scroll too rapidly or you will see the next picture before you have time to guess! Which would be the end of the world.

For the first picture we'll start off easy...What has caused Brittanye to scream and freakout?

That would be One Direction!!! (I just couldn't not include them in this game)


Next...what is Elise trying to see down Solana's shirt?

A cactus!! Anyone? Did anyone guess cactus?


Now we have...what is Mel looking at in such a judgy way?

A Jack-o-lantern! Which makes sense. It was Thanksgiving time.


What is Brittanye creepily caressing?

Mrs. Potts! If anyone got that one I will give them money. I tried to reach into the most random crevices of my brain for that one.

I think we have time for one more...what is Elijah about to snog? (For people who don't speak British that means kiss)

A kangaroo! Which can be dangerous.
 
Well there you have it! I hope you enjoyed that game and hopefully there will be more to come. I'm currently working on collecting some good "Clumbsie Thumbsie" material...so get excited! (On an unrelated note if you guys have any funny texts that involve your phone auto-correcting something you were typing into something completely different feel free to share them with me)  I'm always amazed by the amount of things I can find to say when I start my blog, thinking it will be short and simple. I guess you could say I have the gift of gab. If you were a 60 yr old women. Until next time...goodnight and goodluck. (I know goodluck is two words, but that would've ruined the symmetry)
Blessings.