(I promised myself my titles would always come from songs, but I haven't been listening to music with lyrics in it lately. So there's that.)
Poem to the Girl Sitting Next to Me
Welcome, fellow student
To my favorite computer lab.
It's the one lab, I'm certain, has never been full.
Plenty of room all around
In the front or the back,
If you prefer the side computers even those are all free!
Oh.
You seem to like the computer right next to me.
That's okay I can deal. I'm not completely...
What's that binder doing?
It's inching toward my space.
And it touched me.
There was contact.
That is too close Missy!
20 computers surround us and you have to be in my bubble.
Two open on this very same row,
Just head a few feet east.
Do I know you?
I have to know you for you to feel comfortable doing this.
Your chair is turned toward me like you are ready to chat.
I don't dare make eye contact in case you're one of those friendly people.
I no longer have a mouse pad.
It has been swallow by that which may be,
The largest binder I ever have seen.
I'm afraid to use my mouse because it's so close to her things
This isn't right! I just want some peace.
Oh you have a question for the TA?
I'm so glad you asked...you see I needed someone hovering over me too.
Phew.
She only had a few things to do.
Ten minutes of uncomfortableness I can deal with.
If anything I hope this poem made you laugh, cry, reevaluate your life, and question the next time you're about to sit next to someone in an almost empty room! I hope it also made it obvious to you that I don't talk to people I don't know. Especially on BYU campus, way too many dangerous "friendly" people. They'll capture you in a conversation in a SECOND! (Britt I hope you said that like Liam says "He'll bury you in a second!")
Sidenote (or as Nat would say sidebar) I should really make a pact with myself to only listen to Explosions in the Sky, This Will Kill You, or George Winston while I'm doing homework. The last few days my mind has been a scary land of constant distractions. I seriously couldn't concentrate for more than 3 minutes last night. It took 20 minutes just to write a 250 word journal. Today while listening to these instrumental artists I've been completely productive for the last 2 hrs! (Which is why I let myself take a break to right this RIDICULOUS poem) Emphasis on...
Blessings
This is hilarious stuff... at least that portion I understand (many of your references are lost on me I am afraid...sorry). Loved the poem. Dad
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks daddy-o! I figure it will be like Psych for you! Always funny, but you know it could be funnier if you understood all their references to 80s bands and movies.
Deleteha, yea, I like being almost Shawn and Gus's age so I can relate with my bromies. Just made up a new slang term. Boom.
DeleteMy previous comment appears to still be relevant!
ReplyDeleteYou should just copy and paste it to every post I have :)
DeleteThis is a prime example of why it was dangerous for the world that you started a blog
ReplyDeleteHahah, yep, I can relate! I should've written a poem to the couple in front of me at devotional yesterday. If you're going to throw things at each other, pout, giggle, and pinch one another...DON'T COME TO DEVOTIONAL! Poem that, Longfellow.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure you plagiarized that poem from me!!
ReplyDeleteAnd BTW, third paragraph from the bottom, "few"...seriously Emy?! Few - a small number of items. Phew - a statement of relief.
Oh please you wish you were as original as me! And it's called artistic liberty! If you can't tell that by writing the incorrect "few" i was making a statement you don't know me as well as i thought ;)
DeleteWell, right, it was representing both..."phew" she only has a "few" things to do
DeleteYou were making a statement huh...that's why you CHANGED it to the correct spelling now?! Caught red handed!!
DeleteHahahahaha!! I was REALLY hoping you wouldn't notice :)
Delete