You've Done Nothing at All to Make Me Love You Less...So Come Back When You Can

I've been living in Oregon for a little over 2 weeks now. I've had to make tough decisions before, but this one was different. The title of this post comes from one of my favorite songs and really hits the nail on the head. There was nothing about my life or the people in it that would make me want to move to an entirely different place and pretty much start over. People looking in on my life from the outside would say there was no reason to leave the good job, great friends, awesome boyfriend/fiance, and wonderful family I have in Utah. And yet, that's exactly what I'm doing. 

This begs the question of why? Why am I doing something that appears so illogical? Well...let's see if I can answer those questions over the course of this blog post. Please fasten your seat belts and get ready for this emotional roller coaster. 

Every one of my friends

First off...know that this decision wasn't made flippantly or spontaneously. Lots of thought and prayer went into this choice. My decision was made once I took it to the Lord and felt like it was right. I continue to pray and make sure that I'm where I need to be. I have faith that God knows something I don't. He knows why I'm here and I will trust in his will and timing.

Secondly...I graduated BYU. I know that doesn't always translate to moving out of Provo for everyone, but for me I felt like I needed to move somewhere else where I could #sharegoodness ya know? Let my light so shine if you will. Basically I was ready to say peace out Provo.

Lastly... It's an adventure!

If there was any time in my life that I could go and move to a random city with my sister...this is it. Midge and I have never done anything like this together before. People kept asking me if this was going to ruin our relationship... not gonna happen. If anything it'll just prove to our haters how we really can get through anything together. (Although Hulk Emilye has come out once or twice the past two weeks...) But pretty soon my life is going to have more responsibilities and I won't be able to do something like this again. And while MY idea of a good adventure is more like trying a new flavor of ice cream instead of moving to a new state...it's good to grow right? And let me tell you...I'm growing. God is definitely using this time to teach me some valuable character traits. Like patience, patience, and more patience. 

Anyrate...switching gears a little bit...a while ago I was watching Tarzan with James, Parker, Ty and Matt. One of the lines from that movie had us cracking up, and I really feel like it applies to my life really well.  Turk is going off about how she doesn't care about Tarzan anymore because he left them and how she doesn't need him and it's fine whatever and then Tantar grabs her and says, "I am sick of you and your emotional constipation!" Now I know...I usually don't enjoy potty humor (I also don't enjoy the word potty), and yes, simply saying the word constipation DOES make that potty humor. (Ugh...there's that word again. I'm very uncomfortable right now.) BUT, it just speaks to me! If anyone is emotionally constipated it is me! I feel like what started out as such a touching blog post has really taken a turn... Midge and I talked about this the other day... some people feel fine crying on someone's shoulder... I am not one of those people. The point of me telling you all this (I promise there is a point) is so you don't feel bad if when I said goodbye to you it looked a little like this:

On the inside I felt like this:

And this...

I think the only thing that gives me the strength to do this is the fact that...like the song suggests...I can comeback! I don't have to leave for forever. Even if I don't live in Utah for the rest of my life I will OF COURSE come back to visit! If the people I love and miss so dearly just stay put I know I can come back and you will still love me all the same! (Except for maybe that awesome boyfriend/fiance I mentioned earlier...he may hate me forever because I left him...just kidding! I hope.)

Well this blog post was a little wonky because it was supposed to be a goodbye post, but I didn't finish it so it turned into an I'm-already-gone post. I hope that you all know I love you so much! I love you all for your support and your understanding even if you didn't really get why I felt I needed to move. I assure you I am were the Lord wants me to be for right now and while there are definitely things I miss about my old situation I'm really starting to enjoy this new one. Yes it's a little cramped in our current living situation, but Mel, Midge, and I are having a fun time...and Kip is putting up with us. Mostly. I'm enjoying playing Nanny Emy again. Mostly. I'm enjoying getting on a better sleep schedule. I'm enjoying Skype sessions with Ben, Ana, Mom, Dad, and anyone else who wants to Skype me! (Hint hint) All's good. All's good.

Mosiah 2:41 

And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold outfaithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.

Blessings.